Remembering Becky

This week, I was logged onto Familysearch.org just kind of wandering through my family tree with no real purpose in mind.  I ended up on my Uncle Grant (Bowler) and Aunt Verna’s records and was disgusted by the fact that no one (other than me) had posted any kind of stories or pictures about them and their life. I moved onto their kids that have passed. Lynn had practically nothing. He had been a teacher at Moapa Valley HS while I was there.  Katherine had nothing. She taught the Debonettes at the HS. The word Debonettes sent my mind to the year I spent living in Overton, Nevada – then to the friends that made there. And front and center in that group of friends came the name Becky Lyon. I did a search and found her record. Rebecca Lyon. KWJZ-1V1. There she was in cold, hard facts. Birthdate and location, Death date and Burial location. And a whole lot of white space in between. I clicked the temple ordinance tab. All her work had been done exactly one year after she passed at the age of 17. Then I went to the Memories tab. I found four pictures – a family tree, two pictures of her as a child, and her graduation picture in cap and gown (which she never got to wear at a commencement exercise.) The memorial issue of the school newspaper was also there. I read through that again and it brought back many more memories, but it was written at a time of mourning.  I felt there needed to be something else. I went home and found my 1970 HS yearbook and fingered through the pages one-by-one. And there she was again smiling at me. I came to the page where she wrote to me – a full page, red ink, two columns, in small print so she could fit it in. I read through it and it made me smile – (and cry.) I was 16 again. When I last saw her in May of 1970 I made a promise to never forget her. So here is my attempt to fill in a small portion of that white space and keep that promise.

This is the story of a 15-year old boy, and the 15-year old girl who helped him find his way

He was from a military community, where all of his friends shared a semi-nomadic lifestyle, moving every couple of years, who moved to Overton, Nevada where most had lived their entire life.  If someone asked him where he was from he could have easily answered, “I don’t understand the question.” At 15 he was unsure of himself – at that stage in life when one is trying to figure out who he was. How could he possibly fit in?

His father got orders to go to Clark AB, in the Philippines. The Vietnam War was on and Clark was a very busy place, so his family could not join him there until he was able to secure a place to live. It was decided rather than break up the kid's education, they would move someplace for the entire 1969-70 school year. Since they had family in the valley, they decided on Overton, Nevada.  That boy was me and this is how a group of kids and one particular girl who took me in as a friend, and together we muddled our way down that road toward becoming an adult.

My family got to Overton in the summer of ’69, and moved into a house literally across the street from the high school. In July my brother and I went to a youth activity at the Overton ward with my cousin Lori. She would introduce or tell the names of the kids that were there. That is where I first met Becky and Lucy Lyon. About all I remember about that meeting was that I thought Becky was kind of cute.

My mom wanted to go to church in Logandale with her sister, so I didn’t really have much to do with the Overton kids again until school started. Moapa Valley High School (MVHS) was a small, “A” school. There were 36 kids in my sophomore year class. The core class schedule was pretty standardized for each year, but I had biology my freshman year in New York, so I got a screwy schedule from everyone else. My mom convinced me to take chorus as an elective in addition to band.  I also had early morning seminary. I ended up in Speech II class because there was nothing else to take. The group I ended up hanging with consisted of Scott and Terry Bushman, Diane Waite, Gaye Whitney, Connie Bishop, Diane Fehr, Lucy Lyon, Shauna Petersen. And Becky. In a small school like this, it should be understood that just about everyone associates with everyone else at some level, but these were the ones I was with the most.

Becky Lyon was in my English, economics, band, chorus, and speech classes and she was good at everything. In chorus, she was the accompanist and the piano was situated so if she was watching Dr Ellefson she was looking right at the bass section. She was good! In band, she played clarinet like I did and I ended up sitting next to her. So we started to become acquainted. (I don't believe this was by accident.)

Becky is behind and to the right of Mr Dalley. I am
to her right one step down

My brother, Mike played football so he made friends fairly quickly. In my case, the kids were friendly and accepting, but for a while it was kind of like I was allowed on the network, but only with a guest login. Sometime that fall, the speech class took a debate trip to Tempe Arizona. We were travelling by car. By this time I had gotten to know Becky a little, and was excited to see she would be going in the same car as me. We all had a good time visiting while driving to and from Arizona. The debates were another story. They only allowed so many beginner slots per school so my team got assigned to a senior slot. It was a train wreck. Becky’s team didn’t do so well either. Neither of us were used to failing at anything so we spent some time commiserating with each other about how unprepared we were. I finally earned my own login on the network. (Sorry, I am a geek)

That fall we started preparing for the annual musical My Fair Lady. I didn’t try out for anything. (“You’re not going to get me up on some stage singing!” I told my mom.) But afterward, I found just about everyone in my crowd was involved, so I went to Mr. Dalley and asked if there was anything I could do. He made me Henry Higgins butler with a series of songs with the rest of his household staff (Poor Professor Higgins). I was also the doorman at the ball announcing everyone as they came in. Becky was the accompanist. When I was not on stage, which was most of the time, I would go down and turn pages for her. When she wasn’t playing we would study together.  Or visit, sometimes talking of “…shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--Of cabbages--and kings—,“ but we would also talk about life. We would talk about our hopes, dreams and plans. She planned on marrying an active church member - a return missionary, and she would be married in the temple. She told me where she wanted to go to school (BYU). We would talk about how many kids we would have (3-4 as I recall). We would talk about how much music meant to both of us. She set the bar pretty high and I knew now that I wanted to meet that standard. She asked me about my plans, and I now had similar answers. Even at that point, when asked about what kind of girl I wanted to marry, I could have easily said, “Look in the mirror.” By the end of the show, Becky and I had become good friends, plus I had all the lines in the show memorized. I can remember a lot of them even now when I watch the movie now on Blu-ray.

With the coming of winter, basketball season started up. Like I said, we lived right across the street from the high school so I went to everything. Becky was a JV cheerleader along with Diane Waite and Gaye Whitney from my group, and many of my friends played on the JV basketball team so we always went to the JV ballgames.  I would sit right down by the cheerleaders. Between cheers we would all visit and goof off. And when the girls were cheering, we whooped and carried on along with them. Becky would tell me later how much she appreciated that. Becky, along with all the girls in my crowd were also in Debonettes, the school dance team. We would always stay at half time to watch them perform. Their primary routine that year was to the theme from Hawaii 5-0.  I still smile when I hear that song.

Debonettes Photo

We had a lot of dances. The music was usually records played by Mr. Bowler (AKA Uncle Grant.) (Sugar, Sugar – those that were there know what I am talking about!!!) We would all pitch in the help decorate.

Speech II class also did the play A Midsummer’s Night Dream. Becky was one of one of Queen Titania’s fairies and I played the country bumpkin “Flute.”  This means I did most of my part in drag as the bumpkins put on the story of Pyramus and Thisbe (I was Thisbe) for the gentlemen and ladies. Scott Bushman was Puck. I almost got to play Puck when Scott rolled track coach Larry Adam’s truck a couple of days before the show opened. Thankfully he was okay. Many hours were spend with the class building and painting scenery, then learning our parts and blocking the show. It was a lot of fun (although I about destroyed my dress as I bounced around the stage and was lousy at staying in character!) I developed a great appreciation for theater from that class.

I really came to love chorus, even more than band. If the basses messed up in chorus I would hear about it from Becky. And if she messed up on the piano, which rarely happened, I never said a word. Her face told me all I needed to know. Let’s just say she didn’t mess up on the same thing twice. I can remember walking in front of her house and hearing her practice. She could play anything in the hymn book – especially those hard hymns with the fun moving bass lines. That won her bonus points in my book.

At the end of January, I turned 16. I got my driver’s license and now I could date. But the girls I wanted to date were not 16 yet.  Becky would try to set me up. She got me with a really cute girl from Vegas, who was a second cousin, and I don’t remember her name!!! Terry Bushman, Scott, and I hung together a lot (three musketeers). Terry was seeing Diane Waite regularly (they would eventually marry after his mission.) Spring was track season and Scott Bushman and I were running 2 mile just to show you how dumb we were. Terry was pole vault. That took up a lot of time. I came in third at the zone track meet in my best time, which was not good enough to go to state, but Scott Bushman came in second so he got to go. We all went and cheered him on. MVHS took state that year.

I do remember we had a clarinet choir number we did at UNLV for band festival. Becky and I were in it, but I don’t really remember who else played.

The year wound down. All of my crowd including me earned the letters that year for both sports and arts. I remember the yearbooks came in just before we left to go to the Philippines.  We rushed to get them signed by all or our friends. Becky took mine and was gone for quite a while. I think she asked me not to read it until I left that evening to catch our flight to California. From there we would get a ride from Uncle Vince to Travis AFB for our flight across the pond.  I remember reading it over and over, and getting very misty-eyed each time. Of all the places I lived, Overton, as a 16-year old, was the hardest to leave. But I knew I would be back in two years and see everyone again.

Only, it didn’t work out that way…

When I got to the Philippines, Becky was the only one I wrote to, but as I got busy with school, doing all the things I had learned to do in Overton, the letters got farther apart. I remember she sent me a recording of one of the musicals they were doing.  I remember going to the silversmith school in Baguio in the northern Philippines and see a beautiful silver filigree grand piano and wishing I had enough money to buy it and send to Becky. But letters were not a big deal, we would catch up when I got back in the summer of 1972.

But Becky had a serious medical issue, a time bomb ticking within her. She didn't even know she had it at first. Unknown to me, she started having problems with her joints swelling up the year I was there. Over time they got worse. I was told by Shauna Peterson (Adams) that after I left eventually she was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and started with treatment. But she didn't improve. She kept pushing herself her senior year. She was feeling bad but no one knew how bad she was. She accompanied the Friday night performance of the musical in December 1971 (Fiddler on the Roof, I think). When she got up to take her bow, she fell. She had felt bad but tried to power through the performance. 

Just about Christmas of 1971, I got the letter from my cousin Lori. There would be no reunion. Becky was gone. Time stopped! This couldn’t be right. Seventeen-year-old girls don’t just die! There were still things to learn, to discover, to do. She had died of what was later determined to be lupus.

I was very busy with school stuff, so I just buried it deep inside. There is a James Taylor song that I remember from that time that expressed my feelings.

I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain
I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I would see you again.

It would not become real until June when I got back to the valley and realized she was not there and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I got through that, but that is a story in of itself that I only shared with one person, one of Becky's good friends. It might make a good sacrament meeting talk but emotionally, even today, I would never get through it. It wasn't until recently that I learned the details about the illness, how bad it had been for her. 

I don't know if those on the other side have time read internet postings, but I have written a letter to Becky to tell her what has happened since we talked last time and effect she has had in my life and the life of my family.

My dearest friend Becky

It has been over 47 years since we last talked. Life went on. I went to college at Southern Utah State College in Cedar City. No point going to a great big school if my friend wasn’t going to be there. I learned to love small schools at Overton. I was commissioned in the Air Force and became a C-130 navigator. In 1980, I married (St George temple) my best friend, JoAnne, a southern girl from Arkansas, who played basketball in school!! BASKETBALL? I know, right? Who’d have thunk it? Like you, she is really smart. We have been together for 37+ years now. My 3 kids (girl, boy, girl) all sing, and my daughters play piano. I have three grandsons. You would love the oldest, Joshua. He has started piano lessons using an electronic keyboard. One of his favorite Christmas presents this year was a piano style sustain pedal! At the age of seven he plays for sharing time in primary in their little ward in Mississippi. My family is known to spontaneously break into song. The first line may be unison to establish the key, but then we break into 4-part harmony acapella, and usually we sound pretty good. When I write my life history I am thinking of calling it My Life: The Musical! This would not have happened without Moapa Valley and you. You may not be here, but you influenced me and through me are now influencing future generations.

It doesn’t seem fair that I got to live out all my dreams beyond my wildest imagination, and you did not. I know you will have that opportunity, and who knows, maybe your mansion will be on the same street as ours (assuming I can get the enduring to the end part right).

In May of 1970, the last time I would ever see you in this life, you asked me (twice) not to forget you. At the time I took that as “remember Moapa Valley HS” but as time has gone by I think you also meant us – you and me. I have kept that promise. Every time I drive down I-15 past the Overton exit or fly over Lake Mead and see the valley on the way into or out of Vegas, I would think of my year in Overton and would invariably think of you. A song, or movie can bring you back. I did not get to go to your funeral, and I have never been to your grave. I have thought about going there. But rather than a cold (or hot in the case of summertime Nevada) marble slab with a name and dates on it, I prefer to think of a warm, beautiful, talented, smiling, smart, fun loving, almost 16-year old girl who is very much alive. That is how you live in my memory.

If I were to rank all the people who influenced me in high school, after my family, you would rank at or near the top. Because of you and your example, I set some priorities and standards that would take me where I needed to go. It is said that when we move beyond the veil we are met by our family and friends. I will be very disappointed if you are not there. I look forward to seeing you, but let’s not make it too soon, okay.

You are missed, but not forgotten
Your friend

Gary

PS. In the musical called Wicked by Stephen Schwartz (you would love playing this one!) there is part of a song that goes:

I've heard it said,
That people come into our lives,
For a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are lead to those,
Who help us most to grow if we let them
And we help them in return
Well I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today,
Because I knew you…

Because I knew you,
I have been changed for good

A 16-year old boy left Overton, Nevada where many had lived their entire life, returning to the military life he was born into – moving with his family to an air base overseas..  He walked the maze of life with new friends for less than a year and discovered they were all trying to figure out the same things and wanted to go the same places. And because of them and a 15-year old girl, this young man has gone places he never dreamed of. She changed him for the better, for good, forever. At the time, he didn’t know how good of a friend he had.

Except…

Deep down

He did know.

Becky's note to me in 1970 Year Book